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What would you do next week if it was the last week of your life?
The thought of death carries an enormous power.
The power of perspective...
The power of change. It's final quality opens room for renewed life thoughts.
Honestly, it makes sense. You wake up every morning and never think of the possibility that perhaps you may not come back home that day. The blue screen of nothingness..One day a dear one dies. It shakes you for a few days and soon you forget and continue walking life with the immortal pace.
What would happen if you thought about it more often. How would your actions change...the last week of your life.
My dear friend Sharon sent me a birthday present. A chronicle of the last week of her father on this earth. A gift to start this conversation. I couldn't think of anybody else or a better story to start the forum.
Her father died on my birthday, March 9th of 2005.
This is the anniversary of his last week with us. Don't miss it. A celebration of the life and death of a human being passing the torch.
Here it goes:
Subject: next week
To Luz With Love on her Birthday,
In response to the ?-theme: If next week were your last week on earth what would you plan and do. This is what my Dad did with his last week. He died 3/9/05. He died on a Thursday, I'll begin on Wednesday night.
On Wednesday night Dad went dancing. He danced regularly for more than 50 yrs. He went to a handful of dancing and social clubs. He waltzed, polkaed, fox trotted etc. One friend and dance partner said, "Your Dad was a graceful man and a wonderful dancer." Those are the facts, these are the things I can infer from my own experience. He showered and shaved, slowly and carefully. He dressed in a crisp suit and tie and then he buffed his dancing shoes.
On Thursday Dad had a first date with a woman named Connie. Over the previous Christmas his late relationship had broken up, and Dad was ready to start dating again. On the phone Connie said, "When your Dad kissed me I felt it to my toes." My Dad loved women and after his wife died in 1995, he went on to have an active dating life.
On Friday, Dad got in the car and drove 200 or so miles to see his old and dear friend Woody. He and Woody had worked together for more than 30 years. Woody's wife Marilyn told me that Dad had said, "We should find a way to see each other more often, I really miss you guys." After a nice breakfast, Dad drove home Saturday morning.
Sunday I have no information about what Dad did, but I can infer a lot because Dad was a creature of habit. He got up around 8:30 and ate a bowl of Raisin Bran, just like everday for as long as I can remember. He opened his curtains and looked out at the day. He sat in his favorite Lazy Boy Recliner and enjoyed the peace and quiet of his own house. He took some lunch at one of the local eateries, lunch was his big meal of the day. He took a short nap. He whistled a tune. He snapped his fingers to punctuate a random thought. He laughed out loud at something, watched the squirrels and birds. He tried to think of one thing constructive he could do that day and then did it. I think he balanced his checkbook to the penny,(every month of his life) but it could have been another day. I do know the paper in his adding machine said 918.36, this was less than 10.00 off his balance when we did his books. He went to bed around 11:00 and slept well and long, as he always did.
On Monday he had a big job. His sewer pipe needed to be replaced, and so he was out in the yard keeping an eye on the installers. They were threading a new pipe right under Dad's favorite tree (he'd planted it himself in 1975). Unable to do this work himself, he would have watched everything they did like a hawk. My Dad would endure days of do-it-yourself hell rather than call a plumber. This necessary evil would cost more than $4200.00. In the late afternoon he went to the ace hardware, where he commisserated with a friend about plumbers and having one's lawn dug up. He bought 6 screws, 3 rubber bushings, and 8 hose washers for 3.16. Then he went down south to a pawn shop that just so happened to be along my sisters regular path. My sister saw his car in the parking lot and stopped to say hi. An impromtu supper was planned and they got some grub.
Tuesday had the same plumbers in the yard, and the same vigil of keeping an eye on everything they did, 'til they packed it in. In the afternoon he went to one of his rental houses because the pipes weren't draining properly. My sister's friend rented this house and so she( my sister) showed up while Dad was on the roof snaking out the drain. She scolded Dad about climbing onto roofs and added, "Just hire someone." He was afterall on blood thinners and even small injuries could be life threatening. I know he never considered that the roof would be dangerous, he'd been up on house roofs doing stuff for years. And besides, he was thinking, "I'm not paying a cent for plumbing that I can do myself."
On Wednesday, more sewer pipe installation. Dad was personable and people always liked him. Working men would find out pretty quick that Dad knew a lot and had skills of his own. He had a very attractive quality of confidence in himself and in his abilities. They covered over the trench, leaving a long scar of naked soil from the brick wall of the house to the street. He took his last meal at Long John Silver's, got some fish & chips (a favorite of his late wife's) took it home and ate alone.
He died sometime between 10:00am and noon on Thursday, March 9, 2005. He was 71 years old.
On his fridge was a clipping form the paper that said, If you're to be remembered, Say something worth writing or write something worth reading. Dad also said to me not long before he died, "Have some fun, that's what I've done.">
I remember my Dad with the vividness of love, tenderness and graditude. Sometimes when I'm washing my hands I'll see him. He's washing his hands, slowly, deliberately and thouroughly.
IF NEXT WEEK WERE MY LAST: I would
Buff up my dancing shoes
give someone a great kiss
visit my old and dear friend
endeavor to run into my child by accident
take care of the home I love
chat with my favorite checkout person at the grocery
sit in a good chair in the peace and quiet of my home and enjoy my contentments
and whistle.
Just like my Dad. Yours, Sharon 3/4/2005
Now, think about it and come up with the chronicle threaded with the story of your last week. It could be the blueprint for the beginning of your new life.Give it some consideration and share.I can't wait. Thanks!
The power of perspective...
The power of change. It's final quality opens room for renewed life thoughts.
Honestly, it makes sense. You wake up every morning and never think of the possibility that perhaps you may not come back home that day. The blue screen of nothingness..One day a dear one dies. It shakes you for a few days and soon you forget and continue walking life with the immortal pace.
What would happen if you thought about it more often. How would your actions change...the last week of your life.
My dear friend Sharon sent me a birthday present. A chronicle of the last week of her father on this earth. A gift to start this conversation. I couldn't think of anybody else or a better story to start the forum.
Her father died on my birthday, March 9th of 2005.
This is the anniversary of his last week with us. Don't miss it. A celebration of the life and death of a human being passing the torch.
Here it goes:
Subject: next week
To Luz With Love on her Birthday,
In response to the ?-theme: If next week were your last week on earth what would you plan and do. This is what my Dad did with his last week. He died 3/9/05. He died on a Thursday, I'll begin on Wednesday night.
On Wednesday night Dad went dancing. He danced regularly for more than 50 yrs. He went to a handful of dancing and social clubs. He waltzed, polkaed, fox trotted etc. One friend and dance partner said, "Your Dad was a graceful man and a wonderful dancer." Those are the facts, these are the things I can infer from my own experience. He showered and shaved, slowly and carefully. He dressed in a crisp suit and tie and then he buffed his dancing shoes.
On Thursday Dad had a first date with a woman named Connie. Over the previous Christmas his late relationship had broken up, and Dad was ready to start dating again. On the phone Connie said, "When your Dad kissed me I felt it to my toes." My Dad loved women and after his wife died in 1995, he went on to have an active dating life.
On Friday, Dad got in the car and drove 200 or so miles to see his old and dear friend Woody. He and Woody had worked together for more than 30 years. Woody's wife Marilyn told me that Dad had said, "We should find a way to see each other more often, I really miss you guys." After a nice breakfast, Dad drove home Saturday morning.
Sunday I have no information about what Dad did, but I can infer a lot because Dad was a creature of habit. He got up around 8:30 and ate a bowl of Raisin Bran, just like everday for as long as I can remember. He opened his curtains and looked out at the day. He sat in his favorite Lazy Boy Recliner and enjoyed the peace and quiet of his own house. He took some lunch at one of the local eateries, lunch was his big meal of the day. He took a short nap. He whistled a tune. He snapped his fingers to punctuate a random thought. He laughed out loud at something, watched the squirrels and birds. He tried to think of one thing constructive he could do that day and then did it. I think he balanced his checkbook to the penny,(every month of his life) but it could have been another day. I do know the paper in his adding machine said 918.36, this was less than 10.00 off his balance when we did his books. He went to bed around 11:00 and slept well and long, as he always did.
On Monday he had a big job. His sewer pipe needed to be replaced, and so he was out in the yard keeping an eye on the installers. They were threading a new pipe right under Dad's favorite tree (he'd planted it himself in 1975). Unable to do this work himself, he would have watched everything they did like a hawk. My Dad would endure days of do-it-yourself hell rather than call a plumber. This necessary evil would cost more than $4200.00. In the late afternoon he went to the ace hardware, where he commisserated with a friend about plumbers and having one's lawn dug up. He bought 6 screws, 3 rubber bushings, and 8 hose washers for 3.16. Then he went down south to a pawn shop that just so happened to be along my sisters regular path. My sister saw his car in the parking lot and stopped to say hi. An impromtu supper was planned and they got some grub.
Tuesday had the same plumbers in the yard, and the same vigil of keeping an eye on everything they did, 'til they packed it in. In the afternoon he went to one of his rental houses because the pipes weren't draining properly. My sister's friend rented this house and so she( my sister) showed up while Dad was on the roof snaking out the drain. She scolded Dad about climbing onto roofs and added, "Just hire someone." He was afterall on blood thinners and even small injuries could be life threatening. I know he never considered that the roof would be dangerous, he'd been up on house roofs doing stuff for years. And besides, he was thinking, "I'm not paying a cent for plumbing that I can do myself."
On Wednesday, more sewer pipe installation. Dad was personable and people always liked him. Working men would find out pretty quick that Dad knew a lot and had skills of his own. He had a very attractive quality of confidence in himself and in his abilities. They covered over the trench, leaving a long scar of naked soil from the brick wall of the house to the street. He took his last meal at Long John Silver's, got some fish & chips (a favorite of his late wife's) took it home and ate alone.
He died sometime between 10:00am and noon on Thursday, March 9, 2005. He was 71 years old.
On his fridge was a clipping form the paper that said, If you're to be remembered, Say something worth writing or write something worth reading. Dad also said to me not long before he died, "Have some fun, that's what I've done.">
I remember my Dad with the vividness of love, tenderness and graditude. Sometimes when I'm washing my hands I'll see him. He's washing his hands, slowly, deliberately and thouroughly.
IF NEXT WEEK WERE MY LAST: I would
Buff up my dancing shoes
give someone a great kiss
visit my old and dear friend
endeavor to run into my child by accident
take care of the home I love
chat with my favorite checkout person at the grocery
sit in a good chair in the peace and quiet of my home and enjoy my contentments
and whistle.
Just like my Dad. Yours, Sharon 3/4/2005
Now, think about it and come up with the chronicle threaded with the story of your last week. It could be the blueprint for the beginning of your new life.Give it some consideration and share.I can't wait. Thanks!
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Felicia on -
Sharon, that was just beautiful. Your description of your Dad, living his life right in the middle of it, rather than running around the edges of his own life shoring up inconsequentials was very calming - no wonder he slept well. What a fantastic interruption in the beginning of the day that I started at the "immortal pace" by jumping right into work. My god, I want to take dancing lessons, damn it!
I wasn't sure if you always knew and appreciated that about your Dad or whether it was a blossoming awareness. In the last several years, I've really come to appreciate my older relatives, whom I couldn't have resisted more in my youth. I can't get enough of reading descriptions of older peoples' lives who are doing it right.
My own mother, whose younger years were. . . well, let's forget that part. . . but now, she couldn't be happier. A few years ago we were all visiting my sister in California. Mom had gone to church earlier in the morning, and at some point, the rest of us were driving to the store. In the distance I could see someone walking on the sidewalk, a rarity out there, which is why I noticed it. It looked like a "punk" teenager -- black coat, dark pants, storming down the street. I thought, oh California has some punks too. As we got closer, I noticed it was my mother! She has gotten so healthy and vibrant.
At 78, she does Pilates and yoga 3-5 times a week. Contrary to the relatively anonymous, insulated suburban life she lived for many years, she is now lives in a retirement development. As a retired nurse, she checks in on all of the people in her "quad". She bakes them cakes for their birthdays, they bring her half a roasted chicken, or cookies from a grandchild's party -- It seems like a real community. Several weeks ago, she gave a guy in his late eighties a ride home from church because his usual ride was not available. As she helped him get out of the car with his walker, he asked her if she wanted to come in an "rub bellies. . . you know, you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours." Apparently there are several "old fools" around who give her plenty of opportunity to channel Lauren Bacall or Katherine Hepburn, and do a "tough cookie" routine. She volunteers once a week, helping a felon who just got out of jail, learn to read.
Several years ago I learned that my grandmother opened a matchbook in her late 60's or early 70's and started taking extension courses to get an agricultural degree. Apparently, she felt she was pushing the envelope because she only told one of her five children about it. But it now explains why her garden was getting bigger and bigger every year.
My great grandmother went to the hospital for the first time when she was 105. She had been gardening during the day and in the middle of the night she remembered she left the rake out there, so she went out in the dark. When she went to get it, she stepped on it wrong and it knocked her out. They found her in the dirt in the morning, took her to the hospital and she lived and gardened until she was 108.
My dad worked (and still does sometime) as a psychiatrist. He'll be 80 in June. He plays in an "old timey" band -- they're all retired professionals - doctors, rocket scientists, etc. They play in malls, restaurants, square dances, and civil war reenactments. My little "glam" niece was mortified when she had to go see them and whined "Why does grandpa always have to dress like a farmer?!" My Dad just built the group a recording studio in his garage.
More and more I'm hearing people lament getting older - a guy last week said to me "there's nothing good about getting old". That's not the way I see it. At the age of 51, for the first time, I want to be like my parents when I grow up.
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Permalink Reply by Felicia on
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One more thing - the most important part. What would I do for the last week?
Rent a house by the beach. Invite any of my friends and relatives to join me if they wanted to:
take dancing lessons on the patio by the beach at night,
eat seafood and organic vegetables,
sleep outside with dogs,
swim at dawn,
play each other the most beautiful music we knew of,
hang hammocks in the shade and kibbitz or nap in the afternoon with a cool sea breeze,
get massages,
spend a little time writing one or two really important lessons we had learned, swap them with each other, and put them in a box so they could be read by younger people going through rough times.
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Permalink Reply by Luz Aguirrebena on -
Felicia, how beautiful... your remarkable old folks stories, They keep reminding us that we have the power of choice.
I didn't know the one about your great grandmother... talk about strength and focus. the same that are in your genes.
We have to mark this day. March 5th. I was telling Sharon on the phone. The magic number of 3 that ignites an endless community.
Love
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Permalink Reply by Tom Devine on -
I've been told that I can not only wish for any activities the last seven days, but also the results! In that case .....
After the first day there'd be world peace.
After the second day there'd no longer be scarcity, hunger or suffering among life on our planet.
After the third day, global warming and other impacts from climate change would be solved.
After the fourth day power would be replaced by community building, consensus and personal responsibility as the way decisions in society are made.
After the fifth day we'd be as unpossessively loving and sexually satisfied with each other as the dolphins.
After the sixth day our species would be spiritually enlightened and content.
During the seventh day I'd rest, for a hell of a party that might until midnight!
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Permalink Reply by Luz Aguirrebena on
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Tom, thanks for thinking big...of course you have devoted this lifetime to your passion and contributed in a major way to fill the gap of injustice with whistle blower protection law. If God created the world in seven days, we can certainly recreate it in seven days. It definitely needs a major recreation. Thanks for your vision and humanity.
I love you
Luz
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Permalink Reply by Blanca on -
i would travel to a place far, to fulfill one of my strongest desires lately; that will give my soul some peace. Before that I would embrace my family and friends and will not let them go for a minute. I would pray and try to clean my soul. I would tell the truths I have been keeping inside. I would try to be truly happy for the last week of my life.
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Permalink Reply by Luz Aguirrebena on
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That's very beautiful Blanca. Thanks for contributing...Invite others to the discussion.Remember when we started talking about Soul Hang Out? Remember when we came up with the name? Isn't it amazing it's not a dream or a conversation any more? Iove that.
The boys were saying it's like a "more mature myspace"...it's yourspace.All of you guys who helped me craft the vision.
Besitos
Luzma
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Permalink Reply by Viviana Rouco on -
If I had one week left to live.... I would be bunnin'!!!!!!! ALLL WEEKKKKKKK!!!! Yeah, that's right I would. I would revert back to the instincts that make me a human and eat, sleep and sex it up with my loving partner and friend. The three main needs we all carry inside of us.
Aside from telling my family and the people that I love dearly that I love them and that I will going to make up part of the ancestry from which we all come, so that they may petition me when they light a white candle for me to help them through complications they may endure in this life that I passed away from…
But seriously…. FUCKING (excuse the crass language) the way I would be going out… ordering Thai and watching the sun rise and set, lying on grass to observe the sky at night, and having sex right there too… If I gotta go and I know when I’m going, I will go the way I want…. IN AN ORGASMIC EXPLOSION! ☺
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Permalink Reply by Luz Aguirrebena on
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Yes Vivi, an ORGASMIC EXPLOSION of all kinds is a great way to go. Back to the basics. Enjoy the human condition to the coma. I love it
Luz
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Permalink Reply by Viviana Rouco on
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as a matter off fact.... Isn't that how we all get here as well?
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Permalink Reply by Luz Aguirrebena on
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Yes it is...
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Permalink Reply by Jenny on -
What would I do the week before I passed on?
1. Ride my horse at full gallop. THAT is elation!
2. Hug, hug, and hug some more, on everyone I hold dear to my heart.
3. I would drive out to the mountains and put my feet in a cold mountain river. I would just listen and fill up on the silence.
4. Pick out a super sexy dress to wear at my wake...:) With stilettos to match...
5. I would pray that God watch over those I love and who I am leaving behind.
6. Invite friends and family over for a Farewell Party. And I'd eat until I got sick. And maybe enjoy some tequila straight up...
7. Smoke a pipe.
8. Make a notebook full of family schedules, menues, classes, hopes, dreams, ideas, thoughts, love notes to hubby, medical information, and family pictures so Joe and the kids wouldn't get lost.
9. Sit quietly with Joe and the kids and watch a movie and eat lots of popcorn and drink lots of coke.
10. Burn my journals.
11. Shower and pluck my eyebrows. Shave my legs and armpits, brush my teeth. Hey! I wanna be clean for the following week!
Thanks for posing this question because, honestly, I never think about death. It's not something I fear. I don't consider that brave, though. I consider it smart.
I don't have any memories of people I've known who have passed actually knowing ahead of time that they were going to pass at a given time. Yeah, we knew that they didn't have long. But my family members have passed due to diabetes, heart failure, and cancer.
Thanks!
Jenny
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